God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served
Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in every way
Walking humbly before You God
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord
Acting humbly
Loving mercy
We must go, we must go
To the broken
And the hurting
We must go, we must go
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
written by Tim Hughes
This past week, I had the most amazing opportunity to go to New Orleans for a mission trip. Out of my own selfishness I didn't want to go to New Orleans. I've been there...it's disgusting and the city makes its money out of selling every sinful thing you can imagine. I spoke to my dad about it and even he didn't want me to go, and as soon as he uttered the words "Tell them you need to be transferred to a different city", I started to justify on why I NEED to go to New Orleans. Before I even knew the words that were coming out of my mouth, I was dead set on going to New Orleans and reminded myself that this trip is not about me. This trip is about what God can do to reach the hardened hearts of that city.
So finally my team and I are on the van on our way to New Orleans and just being in that car ride with them just lifted my spirits. My team was very uplifting and I couldn't have asked for a better team. We managed to make each other laugh hysterically throughout the whole trip and we were able to be there for each other when God pulled us out of our comfort zone. By Monday night we were evangelizing in Bourbon St. or I attempted to anyway. Before walking to Bourbon St. Taylor had asked me if I was nervous about going and out of ignorance I told him that I wasn't but I was excited. Or maybe arrogance, probably both. As we were walking, I realized that Danny (who resides in New Orleans and was a drug addict who turned his life over to Christ) was carrying a big white cross. It was definitely not one of those that you can hold, but yet one that is so big that you have to carry it and almost drag it because it towered over a regular human being. To be honest I was embarrassed for a second thinking what people must think of us...then I realized quickly that it does not matter what fellow sinners think of us of this HUGE cross. Over and over again as we walked to the Bourbon St, I kept reminding myself that I would die for my faith and for my God when it came down to it. I would not be ashamed of my Savior. As soon as we got to our designated spot, we were told to leave Danny in the middle of the street while the rest of us need to spread out so we can approach more people. As soon as I walked to the sidewalk, I turned in time to watch Danny put up the cross by holding on to it. As soon as the cross was clearly visible, a group college-aged people walked passed him and mocked him with their actions and their words. I stared in disbelief and turned to look at something else because I felt the tears coming and as soon as I turned to look at the cross again, I began to break down. My team started asking me if I was okay and what was wrong and as I attempted to tell them why I was crying, I could barely get the words out to explain myself. I tried my best to hold it all in and wiped the tears away because I had to keep going..I mean we had only been there 2 minutes and I'm already feeling like this. I later went and talked to Danny because a a college student that Anthony and I spoke to wanted to pray with Danny. I spoke to Danny and I told him that I don't see how he could be this loving and so welcoming of people that mock him. He proceeded to tell me that He couldn't do it without God and that he does this every weekend and that these streets are not as filled on a Monday night as they are on weekends. He gave me a comforting hug that meant so much than anyone could ever understand. After speaking to a couple of people, Taylor saw me and asked if I wanted to walk with him cause he needed to pray and it looked like I needed to do the same. Taylor and I walked around to find a place where we could sit down and pray about the city and the people that are in it, our hearts and asked God to speak through us. We finally go back to find the rest of my team still there and Taylor and I just stood around waiting for an opportunity to speak to people. My mind was racing the whole time and I could not focus. All I could think about was that image of college students mocking the very thing I put my hope in. I was heartbroken. I felt like I was failing for the rest of the night because I felt that I was of no use, but little did I know that God was showing me the difference between living a life of this world and a life that will be eternal.
Now I can tell you 3 reasons why as to why I was so torn up about that night:
-Seeing Danny being mocked made me realize how much harder it must've been for believers to watch Jesus being mocked and physically harmed while He was on this earth. If I'm already having a breakdown because someone I barely knew is being mocked for something he believes in and for just standing there with a cross, how much harder was it to stand by and watch OUR Savior be whipped, humiliated,mocked and being talked down upon? Jesus died for THESE people? It was such a beautiful sight to see Danny cling to that cross without shame and love every person he encountered regardless of whether they wanted to pray with him or they just wanted to mock him. A true definition of loving others with the love of the Lord because we, as sinful people, could never love one another without knowing what it's like to be loved unconditionally by God. When it comes down to it, I know that I have a lot of growing to do after experiencing this. I want to be able to walk proudly behind a large cross in the midst of a dark city and not be ashamed of who I am and what that cross represents. I want to be able to cling to that cross and love others without hesitation..which brings me to my next point.
-Anthony and I spoke to a drunk young college student about Christianity. This guy proceeded to tell us that he could do a better job in evangelizing because he would be more enthusiastic about the message. I wanted to reply with, "Oh yeah? I'm sure you'll win people over to Christ while you're slurring and holding a beer in one hand". Wait a minute...I'm a sinner too, how dare I judge him? Of course I don't go out and get drunk and do drugs but all sins are the same. I constantly struggle more than I can admit. Later on, this young man said something that impacted me so much "I'm fine. I'm Catholic and there's a lot more people here that are worse off than me."....Wow. I kept thinking to myself that aren't we all like this? Don't we constantly compare sins to make ourselves seem like our shortcomings are not as big in comparison to others? Even as Christians, we lie to ourselves and others by constantly telling ourselves that our sin is not as "great" as the person next to us or that drunk we walked by that was passed out on the bench. This reminded me of the conversation that Rita and I had a few weeks ago about how we are so eager to go to missions and love strangers who are on the streets and how we attempt to always tell them to go to church that we are affiliated with and that they will welcome them with open arms. Then we come home. We, Christians, look down on those who come to our churches that stick out like a sore thumb. We stick our noses in the air and think to ourselves "How dare they come to church looking like that!", but in all reality shouldn't we rejoice at the fact that this person even came at all? The church is a scary thing from the perspective of the person outside looking in. Welcome them. Love them.
-Lastly, as we were trying to give away tracks to strangers on Bourbon St., I realized how awkward and uncomfortable it was. It made me appreciate those who constantly go out and evangelize. Next time you see someone trying to give you a pamphlet on the streets, take the time to stop and encourage them. This is a very hard thing to do. You might think it's scary for you to be on the receiving end(I used to avoid them too), but it's scary to be on the other end too. I watched my friends get attacked for their beliefs when all they wanted to do was give them the track and pray for the people. You might be just that person that brightens up their day and make them realize that they are appreciated.
I know this was a lot...and to think I learned all this from day one. God is truly amazing and has shown me how wonderful He is and how broken I am.
“But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”- Jeremiah 17:7-8
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