I have been in Korea for a little over 5 months now. To say that I am past the newness of it all would be a poor way of putting how comfortable I have become in my "new" surroundings. All this time I have pretty much traveled every single weekend to see what Korea has to offer. All this time I have made the petty excuse that this is all new to me and that the churches around me do not speak English so there wasn't any point in going. A few weeks ago I came to the harsh realization that how is it that I am so willing to travel to all these places in Korea that took up a lot of my time, but I'm so unwilling to find a church that feed my soul spiritually? The last few months, despite of having a great time, I have had a mixture of feelings. Feeling both alive and lost at the same time has been interesting. I am here doing what I thought I would always do..travel and live somewhere to experience a new culture, but I was missing something.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with my friend Christian. She was helping me through something that seemed to have been a hard lesson that God gave me. Words cannot express how thankful I am to have her as a friend..who is kind and generous. Willing to give up an hour or two to sit here and talk to me about my problems. I felt blessed and wished that I could be more like her. She sweetly said that it was only because of Jesus that she's like this. It took a few weeks for it to sink in and for me to realize that I am not whole without Jesus. I am not the same person without Him. I have not been a good example of what a Christian should be. I have definitely noticed that my tongue gets the best of me..I do not watch what I say at times when I am too comfortable and that my thoughts need to be guarded. I felt I needed a change again once more. I decided to finally attend a church service at a church that I had researched before coming to Korea.
Sunday morning came around and I woke up a little after 6AM to get ready, got on the 7:57AM train to Suwon. Listened to worship music for the two hour ride. I was feeling optimistic and excited that I will finally get to spend time with my Lord and other believers. I have not been to church in 5 months and I have realized that my soul is lost and ugly without it and without Him. My friend Linda gladly accompanied me, which was a big sacrifice for her, and I am ever so thankful to have a friend that would give up their time to do something that meant a lot to me. We arrived at the station and after finding breakfast, we made our way to the bus stop and nervously made sure I read the directions someone had given me. We waited for a few minutes for the bus, wondering if it would ever get there. I noticed that we had stood next to another foreigner, but after being here for 5 months..you really don't wanna be the awkward "waygook" to start a conversation with another waygook just because you both happened to look foreign. You realize things like this when you've been here a few months. So Linda and I chatted about possibly being late for church and that I was off to a bad start then the foreign said "I'm sorry but I overheard you saying something about church..." ..Her name was Sarah and she was heading to church as well. We were relieved that we wouldn't have to guess when trying to navigate ourselves blind through this town we've never been to. She was very friendly and made me feel more at ease about going to a church in a foreign country. We get to the church and I finally met the person I have been corresponding to on facebook about going to her church. She was as nice and as welcoming as I thought she would be.
There's something about being around Christians that's just contagious for me. It makes my soul truly glad to be around fellow Christians. That's not to say that other people aren't as nice and as welcoming because they are...but being in the fellowship with other Christians just encourages me to be a better person in more ways than one. It just makes me feel at home. I felt relief to be there. I felt at home. I found what I was missing. I felt myself in God's presence and it felt beautiful to be there. I couldn't help but close my eyes and sway myself during worship. I feel blessed and comfortable to be there. The pastor delivered a very condemning message of what it's like to be a disciple and I found myself short. I knew then that without the fellowship of others and without a church that will challenge my spiritual walk that I would be lost. I would be a lukewarm Christian who claimed to be Christian, but whose actions and words do not match what they claimed to have faith in. So with great joy in my heart, I think I can safely say that I have found what I needed the most here in Korea. It's time to stop making pathetic excuses about how the churches are too far, because I have traveled much longer for things that do not really matter. This empty void is finally filled.Praise Jesus for faithfully loving this soul of mine :)
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