The love God intended for all of us to have.

Every single Friday, God shows me what He intended love and marriage to be. Every single Friday, around 1:45PM, a Korean man around 70 years old walks his semi paralyzed wife who also has one of her legs amputated. When I first saw them, I was taken by surprise because Korea tends to hide any type of imperfections and for someone to publicly claim that they are somehow connected to someone who is not "perfect" is so rare here. Each time I see them,  I see her struggling with all her might trying to walk with him. He walks with patience and lets her lean on him for support while he holds her hand. It is one of the most moving things I have ever seen in my life. Not because it is happening in Korea, but because I know that THIS is what God intended love should be...you know, the "for better or for worse" part of the marriage vow that a lot of people seem to forget nowadays. We all be so lucky to find someone who will be there for us no matter what...Vows are spoken by many new marriages every single day, but it's sad that only a few of us have witnessed that kind of love being displayed. I want THAT kind of love. The kind of love God wants for all of His children. We already have that love from our heavenly Father, but I also want THAT kind of love from someone who is a flawed human being because he cares for me that much.
 I think it's the happily ever after that the Disney movies have omitted, but insinuate (hopefully anyways) when they it says "...happily ever after" .  However I do think that we always expect to perhaps struggle in the beginning, but we tend to forget that life is full of obstacles that God has put in our path with full intentions to make us stronger and not break us. Girls, we may find our prince but that doesn't mean it will always be happily ever after even if you both turn out to be perfect. Things beyond our control will always appear to be block that unreachable "...happily ever after", but that is when we should lean on God and people who love us. Just like how the paralyzed woman leans on her husband to help her walk. They do not just "walk" on Fridays together, they are walking and leaning on each other every single day. She helps him just as he helps her, he can't imagine what life would be like without her by his side. Otherwise, why would he be so committed to her?

If you are reading this, whoever you are, I hope that you have this kind of love. If you haven't found it yet, then I hope that you will/it will find you someday. I hope that you will experience the kind of love that never ceases..the kind of love that doesn't give up...doesn't lose hope. That 'lean on each other, hold a radio over my head,  made to be with you, for better or for worse, be silly together, I had it all but I needed you instead' kind of love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Scared out of my wits...

Sometimes people get to live uncomplicated lives that makes them unaware of what could potentially come their way, then there's others who have experienced so much that they see obstacles as something that can be overcome..always fearless. I think I fall somewhere in between...maybe.

People are now starting to ask me what my plan is. Truth be told? I'm scared to do what my heart is telling me right now. I often daydream about it and pray about it. I know it will be good..and that's where the problem lies. I don't know why I'm so scared that living there would make me so incredibly happy. Perhaps if my parents weren't still in Texas...but that didn't stop me from going to Korea. I definitely know that I'm risking falling in love with the country I left when I was 10 years old and never wanting to live anywhere else.

When I was still studying in college, I thought that once I got my degree that everything else would be less complicated and it will all fall into place. Now I realize that it's much harder to make decisions like these than writing essays about a certain theory that I thought was ridiculous.  But I know what I need to do..pray for guidance and being fearless wouldn't hurt either.

Future's so bright...gotta wear shades!

Well a lot has happened since my last post. Hye Suk Nam (my first mentor teacher) is now officially back at my school. Gosh, she is such an incredible person! She has been such a blessing in my life. She is a prime example of someone who has not let obstacles/bad experiences affect the way she looks at life. She is full of joy and I'm so thankful that my last 6 months in Korea will be spent with someone who I see as one of my best friends.

Speaking of Korean friends, Sunmin, one of my Korean friends at school took time from family obligations during the biggest family holiday here to have dinner with me. In the midst of the craziness of this holiday, she took time away from her precious family and took me to dinner so that I wouldn't feel alone during this holiday. And this was our first hang out! I'm so grateful for her :) Things like these make me miss Korea already and I haven't even left yet.

Welp...it's about that time to make decisions again..I have looked up flight times to Philippines these past two days. I'm super stoked to be back for a month there..or longer...Lately I have been  feeling that God might be leading me to move there again. I'm not sure exactly what it will all entail, but I just as if maybe that's where I need to be. Of course I'm still going to search for jobs in Italy and Spain, but lately all signs have been pointing to moving to where I was born. I have spent the last 16 years running away from where I came from and lately I feel as though I have missed out on a lot of things and feeling as if what I've been looking for all this time is the one thing I've ran away from. I need to look into all the little details, but if this is where God wants to be then I should be so lucky to move there.  A few years ago, someone asked me if I'd like to do missions in Philippines and quickly shot down the idea. Why did I put God in a box??? Who was I to respond abruptly? How awesome would it be for me to go back, live there, learn about where I came from, embrace the people there and minister to them? When I think about it..it's perfect. I know the 2 main languages there and I'm learning to love Philippines...so here we go!!! I need to pray it about it more and see what God wants me to do. I'm excited no matter what happens. His grace is so abundant and it's constantly overflowing and I've been more than blessed by it all.

That's it for now...life decisions are awaiting to be prayed for and to be made!